When you stand in front of this mirror, ask yourself these questions.

1.  Did I cause this problem?  Am I its single sole cause?

2.  Am I accepting responsibility for something over which I have no control?

If you didn't cause the problem, if you aren't its single sole cause, and if you don't have control over it, then it doesn't make sense to stand up in front of the mirror of personalization and beat yourself up with its negative reflection.

You are going to make a lot of mistakes during your short stay on planet earth, and you are responsible for your own mistakes, but you aren't responsible for those of others.  And when you personalize their mistakes, you aren't helping them or yourself.

It's perfectly fine to assist family, friends, and strangers who are in trouble, as long as you don't personalize their problems.  Stand by them through thick and thin, and help them when you can, but don't blame yourself for their mistakes.

The problem with this mirror is that it has a negative reflection.  It points its negative finger of blame at the innocent and makes them feel bad about things over which they have no control.  It attacks your self-esteem implying you are a bad person because you haven't solved other people's problems.

Personalization isn't bad as long as it has a positive focus.  As a physician, I have personalized the problems of other people for more than thirty years.  Their problems become mine.  That's why I am a physician; it's my job to help other people and to personalize their problems.  The difference is that the personalization is positive and makes both their life and mine better.

When you stand in front of the mirror of personalization, take a good look at its reflection.  If the reflection is positive, then bask in its warm glow.  If the reflection is negative, take out the hammer of freedom and smash this mirror.

Excerpt from :

Zero Tolerance To Negative Thinking : Good-by Depression - Hello Positive Mind

David J Abbott M.D.