The problem is you don't need all those imperatives and obligations; they don't serve a useful purpose.  They put sand in your supercharger and snuff out your afterburner.  The Shackles of Should stop you in your tracks, take you prisoner, and put your life on hold.  Furthermore, it's impossible to live up to all those shoulds.  No matter how hard you try, you are bound to fail.

That isn't to say we don't all have obligations we need to honor.  The important thing is that we have balance, and the shoulds aren't in control.  People standing in front of this mirror have a litany of shoulds reflected back at them, and they aren't optional.  They are imperatives that rule their life, and if they don't live up to them, the specter of guilt rises up to haunt them.

Should statements never cut slack to anyone, including yourself.  No matter how many shoulds you perform, it's never good enough.  Just when you think you have your shoulds under control, they suddenly multiply.  Each should is a masochistic club that you use to beat yourself up.  You punish yourself for all of the things you could have done and should have done in the past, present, and future.  The inevitable result is guilt and low self-esteem.

If you have a never-ending litany of shoulds, oughts, and musts running through your mind, you can be sure that a negative operating system controls the way you think.  You can do two things to get rid of should statements.  First, you can install a positive operating system, and second, you can open your heart and mind to the power of God's love.

A positive operating system functions just fine without any shoulds, oughts, or musts.  You don't need shoulds when the focus of your life is love.  The power of love knocks the wind out of your should sails.  The Shackles of Should and the Manacles of Must fall off when your heart is full of love for yourself and other people.

Not all shoulds are bad.  There is one Prime Should that actually makes your life better.  What is this should?  You should open your heart and mind to the power of God's love and allow it to flow through you to other people.  God's love will then wash the shoulds, oughts, and musts out of your life, and you will be free.

Go ahead.  Use your weapons of mirror destruction and obliterate this mirror.  Forget your shoulds, and focus on God's love.  Install a positive operating system in your mind, and your life will immediately start to improve.

Excerpt from :

Zero Tolerance To Negative Thinking : Good-by Depression - Hello Positive Mind

David J Abbott M.D.